By Wes Pedersen
In Hollywood a writer is pitching his latest idea for a box office hit to a studio czar eager for something that will put people back in his theaters:
"I'll cut to the chase, Charley. We see this as Oscar material for someone like Chris Rock. We start out early with this shot from a cheap-looking conference room. It's an almost-all-men-only setup. Everyone is quiet as they watch the TV. Then the skinny guy in a corner whispers, 'Drop the hammer.' A shot rings out; a blonde chick lets go with a loud gasp. Then maybe we hear another shot or two.
"Get this: The skinny guy who ordered the hit is the president of the United States, and the guy who took the hit was a terrorist on the lam. The CIA had been hunting for him for 10 years! And get this, too: He was hiding out in plain sight for about four or five of those years! In plain sight, for Pete's sake! Ten years to make a hit. Okay, so it gets better. These Navy guys have wrapped the body up in something like a sheet or a rug,, and they're taking him out to sea and dumping him overboard.
"That's scary, but it's just a start. Back home, the mobs are out in the streets, demanding jobs. Our president has been stiffing them for two years, and the people are going Syrian. Up on Capitol Hill, the Senators are doing bits from a Jimmy Stewart movie, bitching and blaming the guy in the White House. But they never blame themselves or the fellow who preceded our guy in the Oval Office.
"Our hero has been fixated on things going on in the Middle East. Instead of seeing to the problems back home, he's zeroed in on the mobs tearing up some of the cities in the Arab countries. He sees himself as their savior, so he goes after one of the locals in charge, a hard-nose in Libya. He's butted into a civil war, and the law says he's got to have the Senators' permission to go to war.
"On his orders, planes from some international organization controlled by him start pounding the homes of the Libyan tough guy. They bomb his compounds for four months – four months, and they can't make this hit even with all those planes. What a kick! Finally, our for-rent pilots hit some Libyan kids by mistake, and people back home start to get really mad at us.
"We flash back to Washington. The president is starting to get some of our troops out of Afghanistan at last, but he's got a really big problem now. He's up for re-election in a year or so and he's got to find some way to explain away all the mistakes he's been making everywhere. If he doesn't, he's toast in the election.
"He's hoping to get some support from overseas, but our designated boss in Afghanistan is blaming him for everything that's going bad there after all we did for him and his country. A new villain enters the action now, with the head of China getting tight with our designated boss. They're conniving like crazy.
"Now here's some good news for you. We can get this wrapped up for release just before the U.S. elections are held next year! We can maybe help elect a president. Or vice versa.
"So what do you think, Charley? Have we got a winner here or not?”
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Wes Pedersen is a retired Foreign Service Officer and principal at Wes Pedersen Communications and Public Relations Washington, D.C. |