Ya gotta love the Internet.

Where else can shut-ins, pretenders and know-nothings offer unsolicited PR advice that is not only worthless (which is what they're getting paid for their opinions) but gratuitous, wrong-headed and, much of the time, exactly opposite to what people in real life should be doing.

Latest proof: The online PR counsel offered to Bill Cosby, erstwhile beloved Cliff Huxtable, now alleged sexual predator.

bill cosbyAt last count, 16 women have come forward to accuse the Coz of assaulting them, the majority claiming an M.O. of being surreptitiously fed disorienting drugs followed by blatant sexual battery.

Cosby, like Lance Armstrong before him, has, predictably, lost everything. No one -- from Netflix to NBC to tour promoters -- is interested in supporting a wealthy, 77-year-old has-been, confronting a massive mountain of damning accusations.

So Cosby has effectively been abandoned. And the only plausible PR advice for him, once he completes his few remaining one-man shows, is to just get out; leave, forget the comeback, accept the tattered reputation and live out the rest of your life quietly. And for god sakes don't waste your money hiring a PR man or woman! They can't help. At this point, nothing can.

At least that's one man's opinion; and I get paid for these commentaries (not much, but something more than zero, which is what the rest of the Web counselors earn).

And what have these Net nudniks recommended Mr. Cosby do to "win back" his reputation?

First, of course, there's the by-now clichéd advice that, "If you haven't done anything wrong, defend yourself by sitting down with Oprah." Notwithstanding the fact that Oprah, like Mussolini, hasn't been heard from for quite some time, this counsel is worthless.

The obvious reality is that Bill Cosby has, in fact, "done something wrong." Where there's smoke there's fire; and in Cosby's case, there's a five-alarmer. Silence, they say, "grants the point." And the comedian's silence on the sexual assault accusations is tacit admission that something bad happened -- too many times.

And what if Cosby is guilty of the crimes as charged? Here's what the Net advisors suggest in that case.

1. Apologize publicly to the women and your fans.

2. Go to rehab for your problems.

3. Adopt a charity that deals with sexual assault and rape.

4. Hold a media interview with a female interviewer, i.e. you know who again.

After having followed this thoughtful plan, I would have added one final step, "Just shoot yourself!"

Such advice might have made sense for Kobe Bryant, who apologized after being accused of a sexual crime which he denied and for which he was never tried; or Charlie Sheen, who profited enough from rehab to restart his crumbling career; or Michael Vick, who volunteered for the Humane Society after his prison term for sponsoring dog-fighting; or even Michael Jackson, who took to Oprah to rebut some of the more bizarre reports about his behavior.

But none of this will work for Bill Cosby. He's old. He's rich. His career is long over. And his accusers, like those Tiger Woods confronted, are just too numerous and likely too correct to even try to fight back.

Any attempt Cosby makes to sit with an interviewer and parse what happened, e.g. "This one's story is exaggerated. That one was consensual. She is writing a book." Etc. etc. will just make him look more pitiable. Instead of evoking sympathy, such a naive plan will only lead to more disgust and opprobrium.

Disagree? Go back and review the disastrous Oprah interview with long-time liar/cheat/bully Lance Armstrong.

No, the fact is that no matter what Bill Cosby does or says from here on in, his professional reputation -- like Lance Armstrong's or Tiger Woods's or Bill Clinton's -- will forever be tarnished by his personal failings.

And not even the wisest, non-paid PR genius on the Internet can alter that inevitable result.

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Fraser P. Seitel has been a communications consultant, author and teacher for 40 years. He may be reached directly at [email protected].