Has there ever been a more pathetic PR victim than Alex Rodriguez?

Oh sure the former regular third baseman for the New York Yankees is rich and talented (or at least was the last time we looked) and is guaranteed to make $80 million over the next three years, no matter how much his skills have eroded.

But nonetheless, A-Rod is one sick puppy; compounding the imminent misery he is likely to suffer in the coming baseball season by continuing to accept horrible PR advice.

Wrongheaded PR has been a hallmark of the Rodriguez comeback initiative ever since the ageing star was first charged with taking performance-enhancing steroids.

For one thing, he turned to lawyers --- lawyers! – to handle his PR travails.

· The first attorney, Lanny Davis, called for a federal investigation to investigate Major League Baseball’s “misconduct” in investigating poor Alex’s relationship with the Coral Gables, FL anti-aging clinic that supplied the juice. MLB responded to Davis’ attempt to deflect attention from his client by suggesting he go pound salt.

· The second attorney, Joe Tacopina, accused MLB, its commissioner and the Yankees of staging a witch hunt to destroy his client and dared the league to release Alex’s confidential drug-testing record. When the league agreed, the barrister headed for the hills.

Now it doesn’t take a PR genius to realize that hiring headline-grabbing, self-promoting lawyers to handle your crisis management isn’t a particularly dandy idea. And in both cases, the barristers’ offensive offensive backfired immediately for the already beloathed A-Rod.

Today, of course, free-spending Alex apparently has assembled a different PR team to help smooth his entry back into baseball after a one-year suspension.

And rather than counseling their client to hold an obligatory spring training press conference to face the press jackals, acknowledge his wrongs and attempt to clear the air before baseball begins, here was their $1,000/hour advice:

Handwrite a personal letter of apology!

Oy. Oy. Oy.

The not-so-subtle purpose of this device, of course, was to reflect “personalization,” i.e. to present the appearance that Alex penned the letter himself. Which, of course, he probably did – after somebody dictated it to him!!!

Predictably, the ham-handed attempt at damage control only served to intensify the contempt in which the vast majority of baseball fans held the wayward third baseman. Even the talk radio mouth breathers – not the most discerning of PR analysts -- weren’t buying the personal letter ruse.

So rather than facing his accusers and beginning to turn the page on his transgressions, Rodriguez’ latest transparent PR gambit only served to dig him into a deeper hole.

Poor Alex. And poor public relations.

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Fraser P. Seitel has been a communications consultant, author and teacher for 40 years. He may be reached directly at [email protected].