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Okay, the Iowa caucuses are in the rearview mirror. And Trump might even buy a farm there if he can build a private airport for his 757 and get a nice tax deduction. But now that we are four election cycles into the 21st century, it’s time to do away with the caucuses, or at least move them deeper into the cycle, say about the time of the Iowa State Fair.
There’s nothing sacred about the schedule, even though one Iowa voter told Larry Sabato it is written into the U.S. Constitution that the Iowa caucuses be first in the nation.
There’s been plenty of criticism of the Iowa caucuses as unrepresentative and unfair, but to say this year was the proverbial straw understates the case considerably. I mean, FIVE coin tosses to determine the winner in Democratic caucuses? Why not a game of horse, since most caucuses are in school gyms anyway, or maybe some hot dodgeball to make it a real contest?
The images of people standing around in groups as though they’re waiting for a livestock auction to start and then flipping coins to determine winners give one pause about the future of the Republic. This isn’t democracy, it’s just plain goofiness.
And the numbers, for a presidential election contest, are staggeringly paltry. On Monday night, I heard there was a “huge crowd” of 350 at one caucus site. A “record vote” is 180,000, less than one percent of more than 1.9 million Iowans registered. What were the others doing, watching a basketball game?
Certainly the caucuses are good for the economy of the state, and bring notoriety to myriad cafés, coffee shops and restaurants like the Machine Shed in Davenport, where the house specialty is the stuffed roasted pork chop. There’s also roast pork loin, barbecue pork ribs, Parmesan crusted pork tenderloin, and the Heartland Delight, described as “whole pork tenderloins, trimmed, wrapped with bacon, seasoned and baked with or without barbeque sauce.” There’s probably even a pork cake for dessert.
Avoid the hamburger, though, because Iowa’s governor, Terry Branstad, is a huge defender of the “pink slime” by-product in ground beef, once appearing in a “Dude, It’s Beef” T-shirt with representatives of the Iowa Cattleman’s Association.
The Iowa caucuses are all very homey and Middle American, giving us a glimpse of the flyover country that most of us will never experience firsthand, but, as a launching ramp for electing the most powerful leader in the world, they are an anachronism that should be put away with the “I like Ike” and “Whip Inflation Now” buttons.
Bill Huey is president of Strategic Communications, a corporate communications and marketing consultancy, and author of "Carbon Man," a novel about greed.
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