Whatever happened to those crazy White House gatecrashers? We sure miss 'em.

The Salahis appealed to the everyman within us. Who wouldn't want to hobnob with Joe Biden?

Sadly, sordid Tiger Woods cruelly bumped Virginia's publicity-starved couple from the front pages. That's despite the best efforts of the ever resourceful publicity agent Mahogany Jones. She is telling the press that Michaele and Tareq Salahi aren’t trying to shop their story about how they slipped through Secret Service security. Jones reportedly said: "We repute these false allegations and demand that this adverse, in accurate information cease immediately."

It doesn’t matter. The party-hardy Salahis are history, unless ...

The country is now left with all kinds of rumors and speculation surrounding Tiger Woods. He is said to have offered wife Elin $80M if she agrees to serve a seven-year sentence with him. Think of it as house arrest. All she has to do is to accept total humiliation and show up smiley faced at golf tourneys.

C'mon, Tiger. Elin wasn’t born yesterday. She knows a court would make that $80M look like chump change.

President Obama, who (lucky for him) isn't the guy on the cover of Golf Digest with Tiger, surely misses all the fuss about the Salahis. He would love to return the national focus on the need to bulk up White House security rather than bulking up the economy.

Obama proved yesterday that the White House is grasping for straws. Out of ideas. Gone fishing.

Things have gotten so bad the White House website is begging for people to arrange their own mini job summits throughout the country. From the White House website: "Fill out the form below if you're interested in hosting a jobs forum in your community. We'll email you discussion questions and other materials to help make your event as productive as possible and give you instructions on to how to share your ideas with us."

The Community-Organizer-in-Chief is hard at work.

Here's a modest proposal for the Salahis. There is one surefire way to get back into the PR game. Ride the Tiger. If the Salahis were savvy enough to slip through the White House cordon, Tiger's compound in Florida should be a snap. Just imagine the PR fun if gorgeous Michaele and suave Tareq were discovered strolling within Chez Woods. The press, already stalking Tiger, would have a field day.

Gatecrashing both the White House and Tiger's den would be an "inside" story too good for the media to turn down, or perhaps even pay for.