As the screws begin to turn and indictments seem ever more likely, Donald Trump could become not just the first president to be incarcerated but also the first president to die in jail

This raises the question of where and how Trump should be jailed. House arrest with an ankle monitor as a reminder would be the easiest option, but that really isn’t punishment for a career criminal like Trump. He would still find a way to play golf and to entertain his friends and toadies at Mar a Lago.

Another option is to build a federal prison especially for Trump, then turn it into a presidential library when the 45th president passes on. That would kill two birds with one stone, as there are apparently no plans for a Trump library on the table.

The rolling hills of Bedminster, NJ, would be a good spot for such a dual-purpose structure. The former president could be allowed out to play golf at his club once a week, and his guards could include Secret Service as well as Federal Bureau of Prisons personnel.

Trump could supervise the construction of the library, being accustomed to such things, and put his own touches on the design—sans gold fittings and fixtures. It could house all his presidential papers, excluding those he flushed down White House toilets, and have a special section for his personal collection of classified documents.

Speaking of gold fixtures, The Donald’s beloved Boeing 757 (which should be dubbed “Flight Risk” BTW) could be disassembled and moved to New Jersey, possibly serving as a themed restaurant serving Trump’s favorite junk food.

After Trump is laid to rest beside Ivana, a giant statue of him could be erected in a spot where the faithful can come to pay their respects without disturbing members of the club. Trump would love it if his adherents and admirers could purchase their own burial plots at a cost of say $100,000 and up, depending on their proximity to him.

Trump may have other ideas about his interment, such as a structure similar to Ataturk’s grave, but it shouldn’t break the budget or take longer than usual with government projects. It would certainly be more dramatic, with sycophants like Kevin McCarthy or Lindsey Graham coming to throw themselves on the marble, prostrate with grief and longing for the old MAGA days.


Bill Huey is president of Strategic Communications and the author of Advertising's Double Helix: A Proposed New Process Model. Journal of Advertising Research, May/June 1999. His article about advertising effects has been cited in books and academic papers around the world.