Forgive me, but ... I’m with Ray Rice's former fiancé, now wife, who says the ones suffering most from the fallout of her husband's infamous video are her and her little daughter. Ironic, since she was the one abused.

Of course, Rice’s actions were inexcusable. He has acknowledged as much and will accept stiff punishment, losing his salary and sponsorships. That is as it should be.

ray riceBut what is grossly unfair, as always in our TMZ- driven society, is the feeding frenzy the Rice video has evoked; where every uninvolved, uninformed, self-proclaimed expert looking for air time comes out of the woodwork to call for the head of the perpetrator and anyone else involved.

In this case, you've got everyone from Joe Biden to Seth Rogen to some obscure Denver Bronco tackle named “Pot Roast,” calling for Rice to be banned from football for life and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to be fired for botching the punishment. That sentiment was even shared by New England Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft, a man whose team employed an alleged murderer named Aaron Hernandez at tight end and an acknowledged cheater named Bill Bellichick as coach.

Clearly, it's time to take a step back toward sanity.

First, it’s good that domestic abuse is being talked about. In the past, when people like Bill Maher and Jason Kidd and Chad Ochocinco were accused of such a crime, it was pretty well dismissed and forgotten.

Of course, there was no video tape of the transgressions. Maher and Kidd are still societal members in good standing, and Ochocinco has re-renamed himself “Johnson” and is playing professional football in Canada (The same league that just banned Rice.).

Second, it’s good that the NFL will now take strong action against Rice and others guilty of domestic abuse. It did the same thing with Michael Vick, who killed dogs. And it should’ve done the same thing with former star Ray Lewis, who was alleged to have murdered someone. But you can’t get ‘em all right. (Accused murderer Lewis, by the way, is now an announcer in good standing at ESPN, the network that has led the charge for Rice’s scalp.)

But to call for Rice to be “banned for life” or for Goodell “to be fired” is just the hysterical rantings of a lunatic mob and makes no sense in real life. Rather, here’s what Goodell and Rice might do once the outraged class has left the stage and the media have moved on – probably in a week or so.

· The NFL and its commissioner should first make sure that that nobody in the league office viewed the smoking gun video tape before they said they did. Every chuckleheaded talk radio sports know-it-all has called Goodell and the league liars. And if they are, they’ve got big problems. So they have to be telling the truth.

Assuming they’re not lying, Goodell and the NFL must stick to their new domestic abuse regimen and not buckle in the face of holier-than-thou cries for more severe punishment, specifically Rice’s banishment for life. Goodell admitted he made a mistake the first time around, sans video tape evidence, and he corrected the domestic abuse policy. That should be enough for rational minds. The NFL should also join the effort, with time and money, to stem domestic abuse in society.

Finally, the NFL should make Rice sit out this season and be allowed to reapply for an NFL team next year. Commissioner Goodell has hinted that is what will happen. And it should.

· Ray Rice needs to “go public,” as Goodell has done. He should consider seeking out an Anderson Cooper-type for a come-to-Jesus interview.

In that interview, he should reiterate his guilt and acknowledge that what he did was inexcusable. He should detail what he’s doing to rid himself of his demons --- anger management classes, donating his time to fight domestic abuse, etc. – and proclaim his intent to be a good husband and father.

He should also make a point of his need to make a living for his family and how unfair it would be for him to be barred from his livelihood for life. He should express faith that once he’s proved that he’s again worthy; he will be allowed to reapply for the NFL next season.

That done, the suspicion here is that if Rice demonstrates he still has the skill, a team in need will pick him up, just as the Eagles and Jets picked up Michael Vick after his term in prison.

One team that might be interested in employing Rice at running back is the New York Giants; indeed, the hapless Giants might even be interested in employing Mrs. Rice at running back! But that’s a story for another time.

* * *

Fraser P. Seitel has been a communications consultant, author and teacher for 40 years. He may be reached directly at [email protected]. He is the author of the Prentice- Hall text The Practice of Public Relations, now in its eleventh edition, and co-author of Rethinking Reputation and Idea Wise.