 Arthur Solomon |
At long last, thanks to the Trump administration, PR people will soon have a new media relations playbook to use. When released, the book will contain a chapter by President Trump titled, “How to deny making statements with a straight face even though they are on tape,” another by Kellyanne Conway titled, “How to climb the corporate ladder by making up facts” and a chapter by White House press secretary Sean Spicer titled, “making media friends on a daily basis.” People in our business should send a thank you note to Trump, Spicer and Conway for showing us these new approaches.
Below are a few new techniques this book will expand upon regarding how to answer troublesome media questions:
• Never admit that a client is issuing false information. Insist that there are “alternative facts.”
• If your client says something that receives bad press, immediately send out a clarification saying “the media is misinterpreting what the client meant.”
• When the media excludes a client’s talking points from coverage, say that they’re not covering important news.
• During negative coverage of a PR media crisis, have the client claim that the coverage is rigged.
• If, during an interview, you don’t like the questions, threaten the interviewers by saying, “If this keeps up, we’re going to have to rethink our relationship with you.”
• If a client doesn’t like the media coverage, tell him to say, “The media are the most dishonest people I know.”
• If you don’t like questions asked during press conferences by neutral media, expand the media invite list to make sure that client friendly reporters are in attendance.
• If a client receives negative coverage, have him assure stakeholders that the publication is failing and that no one reads or believes what it reports.
• Signage at a press conference is very important, although signs saying, “Make our company great again,” should be avoided. Instead signs should read, “Our company first,” or “We are not the enemy of the people, the media is.”
• If a reporter says your client lies, refer to the first bullet in this column.
• Tweet your shareholders every morning. This accomplishes two things: It keeps shareholders on your side against a future potential takeover and sets the agenda for news that the media must cover.
• Be certain to have a person on staff emulate Trump adviser Stephen K. Bannon to tell reporters who write negative stories that, “The media should be embarrassed and humiliated and keep its mouth shut and just listen for a while.”
• Make certain the CEO makes at least one outrageous statement every day. This will prevent the media from asking detailed questions about things that should be covered.
• One way to get the media at a press conference in a positive frame of mind is to always introduce your client as “the greatest, the best and the smartest CEO ever, who has assembled a board of directors uniquely qualified and unmatched since Adam & Eve walked he earth.”
• Make sure to emphasize that the client has sacrificed a life of luxury in order to manage a company and that the client is only interested in helping America and its workers.
• If a reporter points out that there are always protesters at client appearances and shareholders of the company barely voted to keep the client in office, you should insist that those protesters were paid by a hostile takeover group and negative shareholders votes were illegal.
• If a reporter points out that the company slogan “America First” was used by the pre-World War II isolationist, anti-Semitic movement that wanted the U.S. to appease or support Nazi Germany, the PR rep should say, “Our CEO, like most Americans, doesn’t know history, so the slogan is new to them.”
• It’s vital to show displeasure at media coverage. This is best done by excluding journalists who wrote negative stories from press events.
• Never admit failure. Say that it will take longer than expected but when completed, the project will work out better than expected.
• Always defend the indefensible, like Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly, even if the client has been accused and apologized for the same behavior. It’ll show loyalty.
• Always seek out appearances at friendly venues but decline appearances at venues like the ACLU, where the attendees don’t think the client is the best thing that happened to America since Columbus.
• Treat a public company as you would a family-run private firm.
• Always appoint family members to important positions, despite their lack of previous corporate experience. They’ll never speak out against you publicly, especially if you’re filthy rich.
• When things don’t work out, always say, “I didn’t know the mess I inherited was so bad.” (Other scapegoats that can be used as needed are Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi and MSNBC, CNN, the Washington Post, the New York Times and the rest of the “lying, dishonest, failing media.”
• If the CEO is caught on tape making vulgar remarks, insist it’s just “locker room talk.”
• If the CEO receives negative press because of misconduct with females, the PR rep should always arrange interviews for an attractive female relative to defend the CEO. by saying, “He’s always treated women with the highest respect.”
• Financial PR people should counsel the client to always insist a hostile takeover by a foreign entity is the reason for unpopular actions.
• Prior to arranging client interviews or appearances, an intensive training regimen must be conducted. Among the teaching tools are TV commercials, where simple, monosyllabic, easy-to-pronounce words are utilized, along with used car salesman videos demonstrating how to scream the message to keep everyone awake during the during the speeches. The best lessons in public speaking craft can be learned by studying the speeches of Hitler and Mussolini, who were masters at stirring up their audiences by making outrageous statements and outright lies.
• Ignore factual media coverage and produce your own propaganda TV commercial(s) to by-pass the lying press. Study the techniques of the infamous Nazi propaganda filmmaker, Leni Riefenstahl, as a guideline.
It’s similarly important for PR people to remember the six main lessons learned from the Trump administration media relations strategy:
1. Insist that all negative press about the company is from dishonest, failing media outlets.
2. Insist that shareholders vote against the CEO was from people who were not entitled to vote and a complete investigation will be held.
3. Remember that truth is a hindrance to getting out your client’s message, so do what too many PR people do – release incomplete information, give complex, misleading answers to simple questions, insist that reporter’s facts are wrong, deny any wrong doing even after your client settles with the Feds for breaking rules, and most important, just lie.
4. Always say the best is yet to come.
5. Remember that attacking an accurate story because it makes the CEO. look bad, always will lead to the original story again being reported on.
6. Never let your client speaks before the American Psychological Association. Better choices would be the Public Relations Society of America and the American Association of Advertising Agencies.
The strategy worked well enough to elect a President. So, start shredding your outdated PR tomes and tenets and heed the 21st Century's answer to media relations. All you have to lose is your sense of self-respect.
***
Arthur Solomon was a senior VP at Burson-Marsteller. He now is a contributor to public relations and sports business publications, consults on PR projects and was on the Seoul Peace Prize nominating committee. He can be reached at [email protected].
Have a comment? Send it to 
No comments have been submitted for this story yet.